Rescued

Today God rescued me. Let me vent to help explain. Might want to get in a comfortable chair for this explanation.

Matt is one of the busiest people I know right now. Understandably. He seems to play "catch-up" constantly lately. I guess it all started when we were planning our wedding almost 5 years ago. : ) That will get you behind on other things in life for sure. We even had a "simple" wedding.

God has blessed us by allowing him to be on staff Full time at our church doing video elements. He doesn't do just the simple videoing of the service. He makes short films to go along with the sermons, worship time, and to make announcements to the congregation. Our pastor recently left for a 13 week sabbatical. (He hasn't had one in over 10 years since starting our church). So, Matt is now doing a "sit-com" similar to "The Office" where he is helping the congregation get to know the rest of the staff/ ministers through a comedy. It will be our church's 10 year reunion this fall and he is doing a documentary type thing to help celebrate that. If you've ever scrap booked you can only imagine trying to document 10 years...on video. Whew. Our church is a very artsy church and so Matt gets to do a lot of fun projects that he really enjoys. For example, he got to do a DVD project with our worship band where the band wrote all the songs. He rented tons of new, fancy equipment he had never used before (HD I believe) and led a team of people in shooting and afterwards he edited the deal. He also made a ton of background videos for the stage. It was amazing. On the DVD he had interviews he had shot as well as hidden buttons of he and a friend being dorks. So funny. This all happened to be the week after Matthis was born. We've been running ever since it seems.

I guess a lot of it could also be that he has his own videography business. God has blessed that business (answer to our prayers) and so he stays very busy with that on the side. He's been doing stuff for businesses, ministers, bands, weddings, individuals, etc.

Then there is his film company, "Filmosaic". He meets with them weekly and they have projects going making short films. It's an outlet for his hobby but he hopes to make bigger and bigger films as time goes by. So thankful he has a group of people like that he can collaborate with and do the thing he enjoys.

Throw into the mix having the responsibility of a baby or two.

Shortly after shooting that church DVD project I was telling you about AND Matthis' birth, we started looking for a house because we were bursting at the seams. That is no small task doing that as well as Matt getting work in, meeting deadlines.

Then, we moved and have been unpacking and setting up. All while dealing with a baby and toddler and continuing all Matt has on his plate.

The thing is, with what Matt does, there is no set schedule most of the time. Thankfully, he edits from home, but he also has to shoot the video footage at crazy times.....evenings, weekends. On top of that, he has his Bible study group "LIfegroup" one night a week (which I'm so grateful for) and his "Filmosaic meeting" one night a week. Oh yeah, and he writes films on the side and enters them into various film competitions.

WHEW. See what I mean?

No wonder we are both stressed, tired, and battling anxiety.

That's a lot.

Today was one of those days I just wanted to find a place in a big field where no one was around and scream at the top of my lungs just to have release. Release because I can't seem to get anything done when it's just me and the kids (most days...there are exceptions though), because I need my husband to be able to slow down but he hasn't been able to, because I'm tired of watching the kids by myself, because I want time to myself to do whatever I want, because my house is in shambles from the move and it's overwhelming, because there seems to be a plague of flies outside whenever I step out on the back porch and they try and get in any chance they can (which means I am constantly chasing them around our house to kill them), because we sold our couch we didn't like and can't seem to find the right one to replace it (we are sitting on one chair in the middle of our living room and it's not enough), because our dog Lehya is not doing well and has accidents on the floor and when she is let outside she scratches on our pretty new french door : ( , because Merrae was being a toddler and asking me 50 million questions today, wanting to play with me nonstop, cranky because she never did fall asleep during her nap, and Matthis is going through that age where he has separation anxiety. If I put him down for a second to try and do anything around the house he gets so upset. I can't carry him around because my body is so tired from holding him.

So, before Matt left for a shoot for "Filmosaic" from 3:30-? today (not home yet), I was venting to Matt about it all and asked him to pray for me because I didn't want to be impatient with the kids and miserable the rest of the day. He prayed and....

GOD RESCUED ME.

The kids and I had a very pleasant afternoon/ evening. I think the release came when Merrae started scribbling on her coloring book and she said, "Do you want to scribble mommy?" I said "Yes, I would really like to scribble" and both of us went after it! Ahhhhhhhhhh. It was so nice to scribble. BIG scribbles. FAST scribbles. Lots of colors.....2 crayons at a time kind of scribbles. God helped both the kids and I to be more content and we had a great, easy time.

THANK YOU GOD.

We are working on finding a way to balance out all Matt has going on....and all we have going on as a family. That will help. And, Matt is going to take some time off of "Filmosaic" for a short while. That will help too. To Matt's defense, he helps all the time here or there when he's able in many different ways and I'm thankful for such a hard working man who provides for our family. I started a schedule with the kids and it is going very well. That has helped. It is in the very beginning stages but at least it's a start. Matt is also very good to offer me time away to do what I want to do but I'm not organized enough to even know what I want to do anymore and sometimes it's 8 pm when we slow down enough for me to have that opportunity lately! : )

The time will come when things are figured out more and balanced better. In the meantime, I'm "surviving" as I tell Matt. : ) And....trying to make things better.

I know God will continue to rescue me as I depend on him. I'm so thankful he rescued me today. I know He is always there even when we are having to learn through the tough days, but it's so nice when He knows we need to be carried.

Thanks for "listening" to me vent. (If you are still reading my pity party post) : )