Crazy Power Walkers

Well, now you see why it took me FOREVER to post our courtship story! It's long!!!!! : ) I'm sure my detailed personality came out in writing, which also explains why making a marriage decision took me so long! : ) I'm detailed!

No, I really believe that God has honored our attention to detail and that we are a testimony of making a wise marriage decision. It's a lifelong commitment. I think we got busy in life throughout those courship years which delayed the process and we also got distracted, but God brought us around in the midst of our imperfections. Thank goodness we have a perfect, helpful God who leads us in the right direction.

We can definitely say we are glad those courtship years are over. They were still a blast, we have great memories, and God taught us new things about Himself and ourselves, but I'm glad the decision making process is over! I hate making big decisions.

Anyway, back to the here and now! Whoo Hoo! : ) I decided to show you a pic we took of us powerwalking since this is an every other day occurance for us. (This pic was taken about a month ago). Not sure why I called it "Crazy Powerwalkers", everything seems to be called "crazy" for me....."Crazy Colemans", "Crazy Powerwalkers". Ha.

I had someone in the mall take our picture so I could put it in Merrae's baby book. We walk in the mall which is right across the street from us. We love it. The weather up here is either too cold, too hot, or too windy for walking with a baby outside, so the mall is a perfect solution. The mall goes in a complete circle so we walk around it 2 or 3 times. It takes about 15 minutes to do a lap, so we get 30 min. of walking in at the minimum several times a week. It really helps me in my pregnancies and energy level when I'm not pregnant as well as serves as a good time for Matt and I to talk and catch up.

The walking is getting a little challenging as Merrae has been wanting to get out and walk more. I try and let her walk at the beginning when we first get there and then bribe her into the stroller with her drink and snack. That worked pretty well for a while but now she is not so excited about the drink and snack! : ) She'd much rather explore and touch all the glass cases in the middle of the mall. So, lately I've just had to stick her in her stroller and let her cry out her disappointment. She'll eventually calm down and read a book, snack, and say hi to the other morning walkers passing by thank goodness. But, those crying times aren't easy. Sometimes I find it easier to put her in her stroller as soon as we get out of the car and not give her a choice to get out at all until we are done powerwalking. Anyway, bla bla bla......Just wanted to post SOMETHING today! I'm not always too consistent as you may have noticed!

Valentine's Forever - Part 4

Here's the end of our 7 year long courtship story...

I started meeting with 2 other ladies from my church while Matt was in East Texas. They served as mentors to me. They couldn't have come at a better time in my life. They helped me talk through my spiritual questions and issues and showed me scripture in the Bible about who God is and what He says. I knew a lot about God but had forgotten about a lot of what He says is true. They would listen, let me cry about how I was struggling with God and with Matt, encouraged me, and prayed for me a lot. They LOVED Matt and really encouraged me in that relationship. That was sooo needed because I felt like a lot of people doubted us since we had been courting for so long and had so many ups and downs. They also prayed for Matt a lot.

I started seeing a counselor but that didn't go so well. I didn't like him so I quit going and tried to find another Christian counselor that was on my insurance plan. I had a hard time finding one so I gave that a rest for a while and just kept meeting with my mentors.

The summer came and Matt and I got to spend some good time together since I wasn't teaching. We had a fun trip to Colorado that summer. I almost didn't go because I felt like I shouldn't be doing anything but focusing on getting my relationship with God squared away and also figuring out a marriage decision. I felt terrible about keeping Matt waiting for so long. I told Matt about this and he talked me into going. I'm so glad he did because God used it to confirm how good our relationship was and Matt really went out of his way to let me know how much he loved me and loved being with me. I really needed that because we had had a lot of hard times in the months past. I didn't realize just how much we needed to just go and have fun together instead of agonizing over an overwhelming marriage decision. Below are some pics from that wonderful vacation with our friends. (I only included pics of us though). : )






We talked about me getting a job out in East Texas where he was. He wanted me to be where he was and so did I but we also didn't want to take me away from my job that I loved so much. We prayed about it and I started looking for a job there just to see if there was anything available. It was hard. That is a small town, there is only one P.E. teacher at each elementary school, and most people don't leave their P.E. job because it is such a great position to have and hard to come by. But, in one school district, they liked me and my experience so much that they created a position for me. There had originally been a high school coach teaching P.E. to the elementary kids and they felt like it'd be better to have someone experienced in teaching ele. kids. They offered me the position but after praying and talking about it with Matt, Matt decided that he would come back to the Dallas area instead of uprooting me from my good job (good paying....much better paying than this East Texas job). He was feeling like his time was over out there and amazingly, our church in the Dallas area offered Matt a part time position there doing video work around this time. So, now, Matt could do that and have his video business full time. He came back to the Dallas area. I was so excited to have him back. He got a roomate and was living in a house not even a mile from my apartment! We grew closer and had lots of discussions about marriage and our expectations, etc. Here's a pic of us in Nashville about to video a concert at this Blue's club. I helped him video different events here or there.

After another year, God gave Matt the wisdom to suggest that we spend a month apart at the most to figure things out and then make a marriage decision once that month was up. He said he felt like he was a distraction to me figuring out what was going on inside of me and wanted me to be able to have some space to figure things out. He assured me he wasn't doing it to be mean, it was really hard for him to do this but he felt like it was needed for our own good to move in one direction or another. After many tears from both of us, I love you's from both of us, and encouragement to me from Matt, I told him that I felt like I needed to take his lead even though it would be really hard to be apart. He said, "If it takes you less than a month to figure things out, great! Come and let me know what God has shown you. But if it takes you the full month, that's fine too. But at the end of the month, we need to make a decision one way or the other and move on." Whew! Hard, scary words if it meant we wouldn't be together. I cried and cried out of fear of the thought that we could possibly not be together in the end. I didn't want to lose him. But, we gathered up the courage to spend the month apart and the journey began. Before we parted ways that month, he also said something like, "You'll figure it out. Everything will be fine. We'll be fine." I needed to hear those encouraging words because I wasn't sure I could or not. I had been so overwhelmed.

Things started slowly for me but I just did all I knew to be the best thing to do. I started talking to God about things even though I felt like I was climbing up hill in facing things. I wrote down scripture from the Bible on notecards and I'd carry them with me wherever I went. They were mainly verses of encouragement about God getting us through things because I was VERY discouraged, frustrated in knowing how to make a huge marriage decision, and needed God's strength. I was so weak.

I decided I needed a counselor to talk through all of this with during this month. I looked up counselors on my insurance plan and somehow found a female Christian counselor. I can't say it felt like it was helping. At that time in my life I was so confused about many things. I honestly didn't feel like I understood what she was trying to teach me but the one thing I took away from her was to look at God's truth instead of lies. She said that anytime a thought goes through my head, run it through scripture. She was training me to think, "Is that thought I just had lining up with what God says is true, or is it a lie?"

I started reading the Bible again more and learning to trust what God says about himself even though I wasn't sure if I could trust Him. I chose faith and then got peace in my relationship with Him. I decided I would just believe what HE says is true even when I am unsure, because He is God, He is in control, and He knows what's best even when it doesn't always seem like it. He is good. Period. That was hard to do at first but I knew it was right. I had always been so close to God since the 8th grade when I gave my life to Him and asked Him to forgive me of my sins, but occassionally like everyone, we go through hard questions and low times spiritually where we have to wrestle with Him.

I really missed Matt as I continued to give the rest of the month to God. My mom was so sweet to talk to me every day and sometimes several times a day encouraging me, giving me advice, praying me through things, and just telling me about her day keeping me company. My co-workers really loved on me all month too bringing me Starbucks to cheer me up and listening whenever I needed it, or even taking my classes on the tougher days so I could cope. They hung out with me outside of work occassionally as well. Over the years I've had many friends and family offer me loving advice and prayers that helped.

I continued to analize and talk to God about Matt and I's relationship and also continued to meet with my mentors and counselor. I got in really good shape because all I could do to release my stress was run, run, run....and run hard! I cried a lot of tears too. I have NEVER cried so much in all my life. I was so exhausted and ready to be set free from all of this decision making. There was so much at stake....7 years at stake. Actually longer than that since we were friends for so long before courting. I wanted to marry him but I also didn't want to be afraid to let go if need be. I just wanted to make the right decision since it was a decision that would effect us the rest of our lives. I continued to try and put things in God's hands.

Matt stayed busy during our time apart doing incredible video work for the church and for his business. He played softball and went to a lot of movies. When he got down or discouraged he said he would just stop and pray for me. He said he tried to prepare himself for whatever I told him in the end....whether that meant accepting us moving on or him being excited about becoming my husband. He just knew it was time for something.

I used the whole month and still was just struggling with my fears but when it came time to give Matt an answer, I talked to God and asked him what I should do. I just really wanted to do what was best and right. I felt like He was telling me gently and lovingly, "Meredith, you've looked at all the important things you should look at in making a wise marriage decision that would be honoring to me. A marriage to Matt would be honoring to me and good. It's your decision and I know it seems like a hard one because you are scared, but whatever decision you choose, I will catch you and take care of you." It all came down to faith. I was so scared but I gave my fears to God the best I could and decided I didn't want to live without my sweet Matthew. Even though I was scared I didn't want to let that keep me from all the good things we had in our relationship, which were the majority. I called Matt and he was so excited to hear my voice. I was so excited to hear his too. I very passionately told him how much I missed him and he very sincerely told me the same. He joked around with me a little and we laughed. I asked if we could meet and talk about our time apart and what I dealt with and came to. He said, "I'd love to". He told me he was headed to a meeting at church but that he'd come over afterwards. The meeting didn't last long and he was over before I knew it. I explained to him my journey that month and then I told Matt that I wanted to marry him that evening of the last day of the month.

Afterwards we went out to a very yummy, hole in the wall pizza place, talked for hours catching up about what we did during our month apart, and then we literally held each other all night long, not getting a wink of sleep because we didn't want to let go of each other.

The next day we were over at his place and he got out the envelope that we put the ring in (after breaking our engagement off many years back) and on it had the words to the song, "First Love, my first love, my heart cries out to you, I want my heart to stay so true, because you first loved me, Jesus, you will always be, my first love." The reason we put this song on the envelope was as a reminder that God would always be our first love and that our relationship and lives were going to be founded on that. We read the words aloud, prayed, Matt read some of the Song of Solomon to me (which was such a nice suprise and so special), and then Matt got down on one knee and asked me to marry him for the 3rd time. I said yes.

The next few days we spent a lot of time together to make up for all the time we were apart. We started planning the wedding and set a date as quickly as possible to keep things rolling in faith. Here is a pic of us up at the church a day or two after we were engaged. The second pic is of us at a church volunteer appreciation banquet soon after we were engaged (a friend of ours was taking professional pics of everyone, so we decided it'd be fun to take ours together kind of as an engagement photo). The others are of us the summer before we were married...on a water slide on my 30th birthday, in New Braunfels on vacation with friends, and us on our future front porch (Matt lived in our apartment before we were married).






I was still so scared up until the wedding and even at the ceremony and leaving, but I went through with it because I loved Matt, didn't want to miss out on life with him, felt like I had made the best decision I could, and that I had to step out on faith. It was time for us to move in one direction or the other. Before I walked down the isle a friend of mine gave me the good advice to only look at Matt the whole time I walked down that isle. I'm so glad she gave me that advice. As I walked down the isle looking at him I was feeling excited and also scared. But, as I looked at him, there was so much love in his eyes. I felt like I was looking at Jesus and peace came over me. I was still nervous giving my vows because it is a lifelong committment and I wanted to be a good wife to Matt, but that feeling of God's pressence in Matt's face was such a nice, comforting, needed suprise that day.

God has been faithful to me in a way I didn't know he could be and has blessed our marriage with so much joy. One of my fears was that we wouldn't have fun together. I can't believe that! Probably because we had been through so much stress that it kept us from having fun that last few years before we married. We have had a BLAST together being married. I was afraid that at times we wouldn't have the same humor in movies, shows, or in joking around at times. That was an area I decided was small in comparison to all the really important things that we needed to have in common in order to have a good marriage, but it still bothered me. The funny thing is, my humor has become a lot like Matt's from being around him all the time and vica versa. We had a lot of humor in common while courting but I was afraid of us not enjoying each other when it was different. Not true. We enjoy each other's humor almost always. There's ocassionally a movie or show that I just can't "do" humor wise but that is not a huge deal for us like I thought it would be and Matt is sweet enough to change whatever we are watching to something we'd both enjoy. Or, I go do something I enjoy. I love that he is such a goofball. God knows I need that to balance me out. God has made me a pretty serious, focused person and I need Matt to lighten me up....and Matt needs me to help him too. Overall, again, I think we were just under so much stress that it quenched our fun together and made things seem like they were a bigger deal than they were. Here is one of our engagement photos (these are pictures I took from our scrapbook so excuse the extra head at the bottom : ) and the poor quality), our wedding invitation, and us leaving our wedding.



Well, our marriage started with a honeymoon to Mexico in Playa del Carmen, near Cancun. God blessed us with a brand new amazing room at a resort through my mom's time share. We had so much fun and bonded in fun new experiences during our time there. It was so nice for us to get away after so much stress leading up to marriage. It was wonderful.

We had fun moving me into the apartment. It was like having a slumber party every night. Matt really rose to the occassion being a wonderful, nurturing, loving, Godly, kind husband. I've always felt so secure in his love and commitment to me. He is an amazing man whom I am priviledged to be married to and share life with. I adore him and have confidence that we were meant to be together all along. I am amazed that God gave me such a good fit in a mate. It took me some time to realize it to it's full extent and it took us some time for our love to mature and for us as individuals to mature, but as we stepped out on faith, God carried us each step of the way. Are things perfect? No. We are both still learning how to be this close to someone, imperfections and all. But, we continue to bring our weaknesses to God and let Him do His work in us.

The blessings just continue to be dumped out on us in marriage and our love grows stronger and deeper every day. God CAN be trusted. He caught us. We couldn't be happier being married. THANK YOU GOD. We love you. Thank you for catching us and continuing to catch us whenever there are hard times due to living in this imperfect, sinful world. YOU ARE GOOD.

Valentine's Forever - Part 3

Well, I still wondered if it was the right timing to be engaged but just really prayed about it. We started planning the wedding and took a pre-marital class that was really good. Below are some pictures of the gazebo Matt and his dad were building out on their land for us to get married in. I had always wanted an outside wedding. It was going to be right in front of their pond. I had mentioned to Matt's dad that I wanted swans out there on the pond while we got married. He went out and tried to get some for me but they are really expensive. He decided to get geese instead. It was so funny because those geese would always try and attack us and especially Matt's mom as she got in her car to go to work every morning. She had to carry a stick to fight them off!!! So funny. They've gotten rid of them thank goodness. I was also going to ride down to the gazebo in a carriage that Matt's dad built. So cool.




After several months, Matt changed careers and we both moved up to the Dallas area so he could go back to school. He decided he wanted to take some film classes. He moved in with a few of our friends and I got an apartment about 45 minutes away and started teaching at a middle school coaching 7th and 8th grade girls. Hard to believe if you know me very well. : ) I am no jock, I just like to have fun with sports....and only fun. The only thing I've done competitively is cross country running and drillteam!! But, it was the only job I could find that was related to teaching elementary P.E. Here I am with my girls.


Soon after we moved up there, Matt didn't feel like it was the right time to get married either. He was having a hard time getting his film production career started and had to work a lot while going back to school, and I was learning to accept all of who Matt was (without changing him) as well as wanting a spiritual leader. I was also dealing with fears that he'd find someone better he liked and dealt a lot with jealousy. After a lot of hard times, he felt we should break off the engagement. He told me one of the reasons he proposed to me was so that I would feel secure in his love for me. He did propose because he wanted to marry me but he was never in a rush and he felt like ever since we got engaged we started rushing. He wrote me a letter shortly after we got engaged and it said that he wanted us to continue to learn how to love each other and not feel pressured or in a rush to set a date. When he broke off the engagement I was relieved since I had doubts it was the right time. Little did I know, he was thinking we were not just breaking off the engagement, but we were also breaking up. (We were really butting heads at the time....which we learned later that we were "sharpening each other" and learning to be one and complete each other. We are a lot alike in many ways but we are also different in many ways and we had to realize how to accept that and love each other in our differences. It took us breaking up to understand that we needed each other and needed to learn more about how to respect each other). But, I thought we were just breaking off the engagement.....BIG miscommunication. Here he is with some of the other film students out working on a film.



We spent a lot of time apart and I was very sad and missed him but felt like God needed to help Matt get more settled and content with his career as well as more focused on Him. I was learning to accept that God was needing to work on me as well. That was a rough 5 months that we were broken up. My grandparents lived 35 minutes from me so I went and visited them every weekend. Matt was busy working and going to school. He didn't have hardly any free time.

We talked periodically and he realized how sad I was. One clue was that I visited his parent's house on the way to my mom's one weekend and while I was there I started crying! Matt's mom told Matt about my visit. He called me and asked me about it and I told him that I was lonely and missed him and that things were really hard with us not being together more. We began talking more and even hanging out more although it was really hard due to his schedule and mine AND us living pretty far away. We had to fight traffic in order to see each other in the evenings. He wanted to give our relationship another try and we began hanging out like I said, talking about things that were hard in our relationship, and we decided to give it another try. It was at that point that we realized there was a BIG miscommunication about breaking off our engagement. Here we are at a hotel he worked room service in. I would visit him here sometimes because he was so busy with school and working here. A lot of times he couldn't get away long enough to visit me. He worked in the restaurant for a little while waiting tables so I would go and sit in his section so I could eat and talk to him.

I applied for an elementary PE position that came available. They don't come available very often because there is only one or two at each school. It would mean I would get to live closer to Matt and also be doing what I loved. God opened the door and I ended up teaching there 8 years! I loved that job. I made some really good friends there who were very supportive and great to work with. Here's a pic of me with my friends, the music and art teacher. They went through high waters with me during this time in my life.

We began to visit churches so that we could become members because we both knew we needed to do that to stay close to God and for us to work out. We found one and got involved. Things started going better. Here we are with our "lifegroup" (Bible study group) that met on Friday nights. We had all gone bowling. The second picture is of us out at the lake one day.


After another year or two Matt proposed to me again in our church after a slide show he had made for me. He had tricked me into dropping something off at the church in the sanctuary for him (up in the video booth). As soon as I walked in the door it was dark and a slide show started. I couldn't see where he was so I just sat down in a chair and watched it. It was pictures of us dating. Afterwards he turned the lights on and then came over to me with a few roses in his hands. He very nervously asked me to marry him. But, at that time, I didn't feel things should be the way they should be together, I needed to analyze our relationship and make sure it was a good fit, and I also started having really deep spiritual questions that I wanted to get worked out before making a commitment before God and to God. I didn't tell him no, I made it clear I wasn't saying no, I told him I wasn't ready and to please be patient with me. I cried many tears and Matt was very hurt but he just tried to be understanding and patient. Whew! What a rough day that was. It was aweful for both of us. I felt terrible but I had to be honest with what I was dealing with. I was so sad.

Things were really hard after he proposed and I said I wasn't ready, but Matt tried to stay positive and encouraging to me. He tried to help me with my spiritual questions but everyone I talked to just couldn't. I had to just wrestle with God myself. This went on for a year. Matt and I also did a lot of talking about our relationship and discussed if it would be a good decision for us to marry. We had to make sure we were on the same page in a lot of areas and I needed reassurance in a lot of ways to make sure I could trust him and that he was satisfied with me. I had a LOT of fears about being cheated on and left for another woman. Not that he gave me any reason to believe he'd ever do that, but I've seen a lot of it. I also had to make sure I was satisfied with him and that God had put us together. I wanted to make sure we could serve God together and each be everything God had created us as individuals to be while being married. I found some really good books that helped put some perspective on this huge decision. I was actually very overwhelmed with all the advice there was on this matter and didn't know how to make the right decision. I mean I knew Matt would be good to me and was amazing and that we were good together, but those other areas that are hard...miscommunication, fear, our own character flaws (sinful nature) were scaring me and frustrating me at times. I was dealing with these things alongside my struggling relationship with God and it was overwhelming to say the least. In spite of all of this and it being hard on both of us, we stayed together and Matt stuck by my side the best he could waiting. I am so grateful. God is good. Here we are at a few different church "lifegroup" gatherings.


Around this time Matt wasn't feeling like his film classes were teaching him all that much. He felt like most of what he learned was self taught and just getting out there and being exposed to the film world. He decided to stop going to classes and get a full time job. He worked on a golf course flippin' burgers out on a grill in the middle of the course! That was a fun job and he was able to do some writing and meet some fun people but it was also very humbling for him and frustrating at times knowing it wasn't what his full potential was. Here he is out on the golf course. The next pics are of us on his birthday and us that Christmas.



After working there for about a year, I believe, and also working on other film projects, he was given the opportunity to do a live worship concert for a band called "Pocket Full of Rocks" through our friend Brock. It was an amazing opportunity. He also started his company, Unblind Productions. Here are some pics from the night he filmed the worship concert. These people became very special to us over the next year.






Through this opportunity with Pocket Full of Rocks, he was asked to go out to East Texas and do part time video work for a church where this band led worship. We discussed it and I told him I'd support him if he felt it was what God was calling him to do. He assured me that we would stay close and that he wanted me to get a job out there where he was if I wanted. He also assured me he wasn't leaving because of me and that he wanted to stay together. We took many road trips visiting each other. We missed each other terribly. The funny thing is, it was during that time that we grew closer and had more fun together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder when you are meant to be together I believe. I guess, not always. Distance can sometimes put a strain on any relationship, but God kept us close, Matt made sure I felt included in his new friendships, and we kept in touch. Another thing that helped during this time was the new friends out in East Texas. They were so good to us and loved on us during an awkward time in our lives. I know we were probably hard to figure out and difficult to love at times, but they were still so good to us and loved us like Christ loves us. Here's a pic I took of him in his new room in East Texas working and of him standing outside his new house he rented with a friend from the band. Below that are just some pics around this time in our life.









Part 4 - The last part of our story will come soon!