When I was a little girl my mom would take our family to church every Sunday and I would sit next to them, my Grandparents and Aunt Elaine. We would also go to "Sunday School" before or after where I would be with other kids my age and learn about the Bible as well as learn songs about God. Sometimes I was bored and felt like I didn't know anybody because they didn't go to my school, but overall looking back on it, I learned more stories and how to praise God by being there. I had one teacher who I loved, Bruce. He was a laid back kind of guy who would just let us hang out and talk, draw on the chalkboard, and laugh. Then, he'd teach us a short story from the Bible, and then we'd hang out again. One day he took a polaroid picture of us with another friend in class and let us bring it home. I still have that picture. I always looked forward to going to church while he was my teacher. Here's that picture. : )
Just like it is for any child, it was hard to sit still during the actual church service and my mom would let me draw, my Grandmother would pop me peppermints, and I remember even sleeping on her lap a few times. Even though I was bored because it wasn't on my level, I remember the love I felt by being there with them and the other people at church as we sang beautiful songs to God and about God. I remember joining hands across the isle at the end of the service and tearing up because it was such a moving and loving moment as we sang the end of the Lord's prayer "For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, a-m-e-n." The Lord's prayer is a prayer that Jesus prayed and the same prayer that He taught us to pray. My grandmother taught me the entire prayer when I was in about the 2nd or 3rd grade. I am forever grateful. She also taught me many other Bible stories using a children's book/ Bible that I only know becuase of her taking the time to do that. I now know that it was God that I was sensing through the people and through praising Him there at church.After church we would eat with a bunch of people there at the church, or we could go out to eat, or we would go to my Grandparent's house where they would cook and we would play with our cousins. Fun times.
One day when I was 9 while I was sitting with my mom up in the balcony, at the end of the service, I saw several people walking down the isle up to the front of the church while everyone else was singing and praying. I was real curious about why they were doing that and asked my mom. She said some of them were joining the church and others realized they needed forgiveness for their sins. Well, I began questioning more and she explained that because we all sin and do bad things, we need Jesus Christ, God's son, to forgive us. When we ask Him to forgive us we will get to go to Heaven with Him instead of hell. Those weren't the exact words she said, but pretty close. I can't remember the exact ones. When she told me these things it made sense to me and I immediately wanted to go down the isle and ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins so I could go to Heaven. I kept telling her I wanted to. She said ok but that first I needed to talk to my Granddaddy more about what it means. He was a preacher for many years. So, that day I believe, I stood next to him as he sat in his reclyner and he explained things to me similar to how my mom explained them to me. I don't remember his exact words although He gave me more details about what God tells us in the Bible about us, Himself, and His son Jesus Christ.
(For those of you that don't know about God, He says He's created man and gave man a choice to follow Him or not follow Him. At the very beginning of time, man chose to follow his own desires instead of God's and because of that, God had to separate Himself from man because He is so holy and pure. We would have been forever separated from Him and ended up in hell because the penalty for this sin is to die and be separated from Him. But He loved man so much that he had different plans. It started with man having to make certain animal sacrifices to make up for his sins, otherwise man would have to die. Shedding of blood happened so that man would be right with God. (Not totally sure why, but I'm learning and God has a good reason for it). Then, God took it a step farther and decided instead of man having to sacrifice animals, He would send His son, Jesus Christ, to die for man's sin. The Bible also teaches that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all the same person with different functions. So, basically, God came to earth to die for us through His son Jesus. He came and taught for a while and experienced what we experience but He still did not sin. He then died for our sins once and for all, and then rose from the dead and went back to Heaven eventually. Because He rose from the dead it proves that He defeated sin and death and when we believe that He has done this for us, we are not separated from Him anymore. He becomes our father and we are His children. Even if we sin more, His death makes us right with Him if we've believed Him. If we don't believe He is who He says He is and that we need Him, we will still be separated from Him. He gives us a choice. He would never force anyone to follow Him, but there are consequences, which is being separated from Him forever, even after death). If you have more questions about this, ask me.
My Grandfather asked me if I understood that I was a sinner and that I needed Jesus to forgive me so I could have a relationship with Him and go to Heaven when I die. So, after talking to him and my mother, they decided I understood well enough and the next Sunday I walked down the isle, told them I wanted to ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins. Someone up front sat me down while the music was playing and led me in a prayer repeating after them as I asked for forgiveness of my sins. Afterwards, we stood up and told the rest of the church what I had done, along with another couple who had walked down to join the church. Everyone clapped and encouraged me and I left happy that I was now going to get to go to Heaven and I was now a Christian.
Shortly after that my Granddaddy baptized me up at the church because the Bible teaches that when we trust Jesus to forgive us, we also are submerged in water symbolizing that Jesus has washed away our sins, and symbolizing us dying to that sinful way of life, and we are now a new person walking along side Him. I hope I explained that right. : )
So, I knew I was a sinner and had been forgiven and was going to Heaven, but as I got older I learned even more about God and His son Jesus. I was sitting in our new church at a youth function when I was in the 8th grade. This was a 2 or 3 night deal where other churches came to our church as well. It was a big event. There was a band and a speaker named Jay Strack who explained that asking for forgiveness of our sins and getting to go to Heaven was not all that it meant to be a Christian. He told us that in the Bible it teaches that being a Christian means that when we ask for Jesus' forgiveness, we are making the decision to die to that way of life that God hates, and choosing to follow His leadership and teachings. That's repentance. We turn away from our sin and walk in the opposite direction, following Jesus' way of life.
The biggest thing that stood out to me that night was when he said something like, "Being a Christian means giving God EVERYTHING.....giving God ALL OF YOUR LIFE and letting Him be in control. Wow. I didn't know that. I had been still making all of my own decisions instead of looking at His teachings in the Bible and following them. Jay Strack said that it might mean we have to make some changes in our life. He said if we wanted to re-dedicate our lives to God we could ask Him to be in control of ALL OF OUR LIVES for the rest of our lives.
So, that night, that's what I did. I had a more mature understanding of what it meant to be a Christian.....it's being a Christ follower and dying to our sinful way of life. Up to that point in my life I was very unhappy and around a lot of people who were not following Christ, just like myself. I had a friend who was very controlling, treated me bad, had a bad mouth, negative attitude, talked about other people in a horrible way, played really mean pranks on people, and she was disobedient to her parents. This was a horrible influence on me. Of course, I chose to hang out with her and do some of the things she did, so it was just as much my fault as it was hers, but I was tired of this way of life.
Commiting my life to God came at just the right time. It was hard at first. I had to break close ties with this friend and change things in my life so that I'd be obedient to Christ. But, once I let God help me make those changes, I was so much happier. I started becoming all of who I was created by God to be. I was at peace knowing that God was in control and everytime I was obedient to what He taught me through the Bible, things worked out and went so smoothly.
This is kind of funny to think about but I used to cuss like a sailor while I hung out with that friend I told you about. When I committed every part of my life to God, I was able to stop cussing pretty much immediately. That was shocking to me. I thought it would be hard but He gave me the desire to stop and it just stopped. I got involved with our church youth group and started reading my Bible daily. I made friends with people who committed their lives to Christ too. As those things happened, my life was totally changed. I was a new person becoming more and more like Christ. It was beautiful.
Because I had learned to trust and follow Him, I was able to avoid things that were harmful and He protected me from wrong decisions. Not all wrong decisions, I was still an imperfect person, but because I was focused on Him He protected me and helped me. The things that stand out are that I didn't get involved in the "party" scene in High School doing drugs or alcohol and I never had premarital sex. As I continued to follow Him in college and as I began my "career", He continued to protect me as well. Sure, sometimes different areas of my life were tempting but He gave me the strength to be obedient to Him when I started to slip. As a Christian I've had so much more confidence in who I am and have been put in leadership roles that I would never have been in had my life not changed. That still continues today.
In college my relationship with God was put to the test because I was out on my own and wanted to make sure that I believed everything I was raised to believe. As I questioned God in college and into my early adult years, He proved to be the God He says He is....the one and only God who is faithful and loving even when it doesn't seem like it. Everytime I question Him and challenge the idea that He is really a loving, kind, God, He always proves to me that He is those things. Of course, sometimes I have to just trust Him when I don't understand and may never understand certain things, but He has proven to be trustworthy in more ways than I can name here.
He has changed my life, has been so good to me, is powerful and amazing, and if you want to trust Him with your life, He will take you in just like you are.....sinful and all. Just ask Him to forgive you and tell Him that you want to follow Him only. Then, start doing it. He says there are no other God's except Him. He is the only true God. There is proof. He can be trusted.
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