Merrae's Birth Story

Alright, Stephanie has been begging me to jump on the birth story bandwagon with all our other blogger friends. I probably won't get as detailed as they did. : )

Merrae was due on October 10, 2006. That day came and went and I told my doctor all along that I wanted to just let her come when she was ready and that I didn't want to end up in a c-section if at all possible. I didn't want to be induced. I love my doctor. He has been practicing for over 20 years and is a very patient man. He agreed to just see what my body would do. He was concerned that she would be too big for my hips but then my hips opened up more so he felt ok about waiting. A week and a 1/2 went by and nothing happened. She was getting bigger but he wanted to honor my wishes. I had been dilated to a 2 for a few weeks but nothing changed.

Then I get a phone call at home one night. My doctor is a VERY busy man with tons of patients in this big city and the fact that he called us at home was a shocker. He told me that he was concerned about me. He said the weekend was coming and he would not be on call. He said that if I went into labor, all his co-workers who would be on call would not have the patience to let me deliver vaginally because she was such a big baby. He suggested that for my safety and to have a delivery like I would want, that I should be induced the next day.

This was not what I wanted because I had read that when you are induced the contractions are stronger faster and that sometimes in the end you end up having a c-section because your body is not ready to deliver and your body doesn't progress the way it should. But, my doctor told me that he would only give me 1/3 of the smallest dosage of pitocin to start labor to see if my body would just kick in.

After discussing and praying over it all, Matt and I decided that we felt like the fact that our doctor called us at home was a sign from God that we should follow his lead. We weren't totally certain but didn't want to end up with a different doctor, nor in a c-section so we stepped out on faith praying that God would guide and protect us. We made the appointment.

I didn't sleep at all that night because I was nervous. We went to bed late anyways because we were trying to make sure we were all packed and ready to go. We had been packed but wanted to get those last minute things ready and had lots of phone calls to make. Matt got a few hours of sleep. The pic below is us heading to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital at around 6:45 or 7 am. I love my hospital. It's a brand new wing for deliveries. Very comfortable, pretty rooms and lights you can dim. Everything was real low key and relaxed. I coudn't eat anything past 12 the night before I believe. Although, I did eat some cereal around 2 am. Couldn't help it! : ) Cereal late at night is a habit for me anyways.

They first put an I.V. in me which I was nervous about because I have never been in a hospital for any type of surgery or procedure. That went perfectly. Then she gave me the 1/3 of the smallest dosage of pitocin. I little while later (Don't have a good memory, sorry) I began getting slight contractions but they weren't painful at all, just a feeling of being squeezed in my mid section. Matt and I just tried to sleep for a while because we were both so tired and the room was cozy. Then the contractions got a little stronger but nothing terrible at all. Matt would look at the chart that showed how strong they were and he said, "Whoa, that was a big one" but I didn't feel like it was a big one. It wasn't bad. I was emailing friends during this time keeping them updated.

I had read a book called The Bradley Method that Michawn had suggested a few weeks beforehand. It is a book about delivering naturally, no medication. I wanted to try this. It's a great book (kinda feels like a pornographic magazine or something because they show you the relaxation techniques with the woman in the nude and even shows her giving birth. Yuck!). It teaches you how to relax your whole body when a contraction comes. That way you are not fighting your body, you are helping it. So, I did that and it helped me to remember to stay calm and strong through the whole deal.

After a long while and getting checked out, they decided we needed to up the pitocin dosage drip a bit so I agreed. Sometime around this time they broke my water to help things progress. I was nervous about that but it didn't hurt. The contractions started getting a bit more intense shortly after that and I just kept trying to relax. It was uncomfortable but not horrible. Then, I began to get terrible back pain. I thought it was all part of the contractions but after my doctor checked me he said that Merrae was turned slightly and that was causing the back pain. He said we needed to try and get her turned the right direction by me lying on my side.

Matt and I made some phone calls and emails to get people to pray that she'd turn the right way. The back pain was intense. Matt was so good to push as hard as he could on my back. He never complained or gave up on that.....I felt bad but he just kept pushing. Eventually, our mom's, Matt's dad and sister showed up from out of town and they came in to check on us. Matt's mom gave him a break and she began rubbing my back. It was funny because it was actually kind of on my butt that she had to rub. We bonded that day. : )

With each contraction the nurse was concerned that the baby was not getting enough oxygen because since she was turned slightly off, it was causing the umbilical cord to get squeezed. So, she gave me an oxygen mask to help get her more oxygen.

The back pain was so strong and intense that I felt I couldn't bear it. I asked for an epidural. Only problem was, I couldn't get it right away due to other's getting one. The Bradley Method techniques helped me during that time because it hurt so bad. Finally, the anesthisiologist came in and I was almost totally out of it (#1 because I was really working on the relaxation techniques and #2 because I was so exhausted from the pain). I wasn't scared at all, I just needed some relief. The hardest part was trying to relax my body during the intense back pain with each contraction so he could get that thing in. But, all went well and it wasn't soon before I didn't feel that back pain at all! It was wonderful. I could still feel the contractions but no pain. I was able to relax and my body started working even more. I dilated more and then it was time to push. (Oh by the way! When the anesthisiologist left, the nurse told me that he was Condolisa Rice's cousin!!!!!) Pretty cool, huh?

I knew with a first baby that this would be a long process but it sure did seem like a really long time to push. Merrae still wasn't in the right position but she had turned more in the right direction. The nurse that was helping me begin to push had me turn to my side to push to help with getting her turned even more the right way. She was real confident about this. When my doctor came in to check on me a little later he didn't feel this was the right thing to do so I turned back facing out. I was sitting up but at a diagonal. I was concerned they were going to have me lay down to push which is said in the books to not be helpful, so I was pleased to be sitting up pretty much to push.

I felt a lot of pressure during each contraction which is when they would have me push. Didn't feel natural but evidently, that's the time to push so I suffered through it. Not fun at all. That nurse was a God send. She normally did not work that shift during the week. She normally worked weekends during the day. But, she somehow ended up there with me and was exactly what I needed to get my big baby out! She was like a drill sergeant. She would yell, "PUSH! KEEP PUSHING! YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE GOING TO GET THIS BABY OUT. YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT. PUSH!!!!" I guess she knew how difficult it was going to be for that huge baby to come out of little ole me. I wasn't complaining or whining or anything....I was just focused and working hard. But she really wanted me to make every moment count to have this be a successful delivery. Had it not been for her really pushing me I think I would have had a much harder time. Matt was a good support too but he was new to all this. He would stroke my hair, give me ice chips and held the other leg. Ok, so maybe I'll get a little detailed because nobody ever told me this until my birthing classes and there may be someone reading this who hasn't had a baby yet and could benefit....or rather....prepare themself for this.....During the pushing stage I pooped all over the place!!!!!! Ugh. Disgusting. That's apparently a part of the whole experience you never hear about. I guess there might a be a few lucky ones that don't, but most do. I kept apologizing to Matt and he just said it was ok, it's part of it, don't worry about it. My nurse continued to reassure me that it was perfectly normal, everybody does it, she's used to it. and she'd just clean it up real fast when it happened. Gross!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, so much for not getting detailed. : ) I guess that's one thing all you c-section people didn't have to deal with! : ) I continued pushing and I worked sooo hard. Eventually my doctor came in looking all like a surgeon, all steril. Other people came in with rolling carts and tools. I then had to push harder and harder to the point that I was extremely exhausted. But, I had to continue to push harder. The pressure of her being that low in me and pushing was overwhelming. It was so uncomfortable. I had memorized some scripture from the Bible and those kept coming to my mind as I grew tired. It's funny, I can't remember the exact verses but I think they were the ones that say, "When I am weak, then You are strong", "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen's me", and I had other verses written down that I looked at. All of that was very encouraging. Even verses that I had memorized a long time ago came to my mind when I least expected it. God was right there with me.

My doctor said that she was close to coming out but she kept slipping back up into my pelvis. Something inside me is tilted slightly and so I guess that was making it harder for her to make her way out. At this point, tons of other hospital personel start flooding in. Not sure who all they were but Matt and I are convinced it was people wanting to observe how in the heck my doctor was going to deliver this baby vaginally without me ending up in a c-section. The other thought after pushing so hard for so long, was that I would end up in an emergency c-section. I thought all those people might be there to help my doctor in case it ended up that way. I was really too tired to care but it was odd. I didn't think I'd be able to get this baby out.

I then feel all sorts of tugging and clanging of tools. Weird I know. It was my precious doctor working with all his might to get Merrae out. He first tried the suction cup but it kept popping off her head. He was telling me as it happened. He said, "It keeps popping off her head". My nurse would yell, "PUSH!" Then he had to use forcepts. That was uncomfortable for me. I already had the pressure down there with her coming through and then that was an added uncomfortableness. Things were not chaotic or anything, she was just having a hard time getting out of my body so everyone was having to work a little harder.

I guess my epidural had worn off by this time. Actually, I know it did because in order for Merrae to get enough oxygen or something they said they had to not give me as much. Merrae was so big my doctor had to give me an episiotomy. I felt him cut me. OUCH. And then I felt him tugging to make more room for her to come out. It was aweful. This all happened before he used the suction cup and forcepts I believe. He kept telling me to PUSH real hard during each contraction and then push even when it felt like I couldn't push any more. Easier said than done. I really felt like I was going to pass out because I was so tired. I had been spent and I really didn't think I could push any longer. I began moaning uncontrollably in exhaustion.

Well, with my doctor's tugging and my pushing, she finally came out at 8:47 pm and the pressure was gone. I was so relieved and in awe that she finally came out and I didn't end up with any other problems. Pretty much right after that my placenta came out. The pics below are me right after Merrae was born. I look pretty out of it.

I stared in awe and disbelief at Merrae as they held her up on her little bed several feet away from me as they suctioned her, and did whatever they do. All I could do was stare at her. What a miracle. That came out of me! I then heard "9 lbs 4 oz!!!!" My doctor said, "Wow, that's bigger than I thought". She was 21 1/2 in. long. My doctor began stitching me up which was so painful. I could feel every stitch since my epidural had worn off. I cried. The only thing that made it bearable was looking at Merrae as they checked her out and got foot prints and all. The nurses worked fast with her and as soon as they were done there in the room they brought her right over to me all bundled up with her little cap on for me to hold. At this point I was so weak and in pain that I was scared to hold her. I started to say, "I don't think I can hold her" but before I could get 1/2 way through my sentence they put her on my chest. I'm so glad too. She was so warm and was still crying and we cried together as I looked in awe at her. I was in shock over all that just had happened as well as understanding that she was mine. Matt and I just smiled and looked at each other like, "This is crazy". Matt was so sweet. Before he went over to see Merrae once she came out, he stayed with me for a moment and made sure I was ok. He comforted me, loved on me, and told me I did a good job. After holding Merrae through the whole stitch up, it was finally over and I kept holding her. We both finally stopped crying and she just blinked her sweet little innocent eyes at us. She had the prettiest little lips and perfect shaped head believe it or not (after all the trauma it had been through!) She was soo cute. Matt then got his chance to hold her and of course he was in awe and in love. At our request it was just the two of us through the whole pushing part of labor and in the first moments after. I needed my space to deal with the hard labor and wanted that special bonding time when she first came. I also wanted to make sure she got to nurse. It was so funny. The first time she tried to nurse, she blew a "raspberry" noise on me! It took a lot of the pressure off of getting things right and made me laugh.

That nurse that was helping coach me through the pushing later told me that she really didn't know if I was going to be able to get that baby out of me. That cofirmed to me that God was with us and helped make things happen. Thank you God for looking after us and helping us. We love you. You are so good.

My mom, Matt's mom and sister were standing outside the door during labor trying to listen to what was going on before being shewed away by other nurses. I don't think their feelings were hurt by not getting to be in there the whole time. If anything, Matt's mom was thrilled to have her new grandaughter born on her birthday! That was special. Another special thing for my mom was that Merrae's middle name was named after her....Ruth. That was also my grandmother's name.

We got to hang out with Merrae for over an hour before Matt and the nurses took her to be bathed and to do whatever else they do. I was relieved to get a nice cold glass of apple juice and crackers. I'll tell you about my recovery in another post.....(This seems to be a trend with my friends and their birth stories) : ) First pic is Merrae right after her bath. The last few are when we got to the room we'd be staying in.